Wednesday, February 8, 2012

match.com

so i promised you all a hilarious story about match.com. and i try to never break my promises. so here goes...

a friend of mine is on match.com. she has been having a good time so far. a few ups and a few downs, but she likes it enough to keep trying. she is a catch by the way, so if you know any single men in the twin cities area...

so she had a date the other night. it was a first date and she wasn't very excited about it. the guy came off pretty strong on the phone, but she thought, hey why not give him a chance. i told her to always go on a first date, because you just never know. my advice was off this time. she should not have gone.

he immediately started talking about their future together, and how excited he was to be exclusive with her. he was talking about taking her son to baseball games...pretty much white picket fence sorts of stories. at the end of the date, she was mortified and a little shocked. he asked her out for dinner the next night, she said no. he then asked her to lunch the next day, she was a deer in the headlights and said yes without thinking. 

the following is a series of text messages that were sent the next day, after she slept on it and decided that she really didn't ever want to see the guy again. and they are for real. even i can't make this shit up! (my friend is in green, psycho is in white. all names and numbers have been covered with mustaches to protect the innocent!)




you see where this is going, right? and please not that he didn't even spell bitch right.


so there you have it. i told you it was funny. and a little scary ~ in a boiled rabbit sort of way.

does anyone else have any dating horror stories?
xoxo,
megan bird

42 comments:

  1. Wow. Just...wow. Creeeeeeper. Hopefully he stays gone!

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  2. Megan, he is a sad person. I think she should be very careful. I had a friend who met a for real liar through a dating service and it was a mess, especially after he told her he had cancer in which he did not and that he was not married in which he was. This guy is the type that has mannequins dressed as friends in his house and parties with them. be careful Megan's darling friend...he's a nut job. dawn suitcase vignettes

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  3. OMG. Soooo effing special. This is why I'm so glad I met the hubbs at 18 and never really had to adult date LOL...

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  4. OMG haha!! I just shared that with my fiance and we're cracking up saying "WOW" over and over. What a whack-job, thankfully she didn't meet him for a second date!

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  5. Oh my. I'm so glad this wasn't me. Poor thing. I'm glad she called him an f'ing psycho because he is.

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  6. oh my gosh. is he serious?! no wonder he is single! your poor friend! she was sweet and sincere. any normal person would have been grateful for her text...

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  7. OMG what a total weirdo/creep - yikes!!! Yeah my girlfriend is on match and the other night she came over so we could find her some potentials... it's just ridiculous the stuff people put in their profile and for their pictures... I'm grateful I'm not on there!

    XO
    www.pearlsandpaws.blogspot.com

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  8. Y- to the -ikes. What a creeper. And if you're interested in more dating tragedy chronicled, http://thebigbookofbaddates.blogspot.com/
    Again, yikes.

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  9. WHOA. That is some cray right there. Creepy and scary, yes, but also pretty funny. Tell your friend thanks for sharing!

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  10. GEEZUS! So glad she trusted her gut. What a psycho!

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  11. Wow! That man is super crazy. Can you review or make comments about dates on match, because if you can I feel like your friend should warn other potential targets of his!

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  12. Wow- that's one for the books! The next date got lucky- he's going to look so good next to this creeper!

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  13. haha that's hilarious. What a crappy experience but atleast it makes for a good story.

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  14. Holy crackers, that's insane. I met some doozies on Match, but thankfully nothing like that. Don't know that I'll get back on there though. Creepy.

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  15. Holy Shitballs. It is scary that he even HAS her number. WTH? Damn. I am just speechless, yet I am commenting ... Again, wow. Creepy.com

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  16. That is creepy! She definitely made the right choice when she said she wasn't interested in a second date.

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  17. Sadly that kind of experience is not rare. It's happened to me!!! A little scary but it always gets a laugh when I share it with my friends.

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  18. Megan, finally I got the pay pal credit card thing straightened out! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!The cape is mine.
    I can't wait!!!!!

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  19. LOL my friend tried it last year same thing ups and downs overall ok....but she did have a few psychos!! Luckily she kissed enough frogs and found her prince...wishing your friend the same luck xo

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  20. can you report this guy? I'm afraid for other ladies that will end up on first dates with this guy!

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  21. Ha OH MY GOD that is awesome. I'm sorry that your friend had to go through the trauma of the whole experience, but it made for an incredibly funny story! Thanks for sharing it : ] I needed a laugh!!

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  22. ugh! That is so crazy! I am glad that she stood up for herself, what a nutbag!

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  23. Ahh, yes - online dating, I remember it well. Kissed many frogs! Good news for your friend though, it's how I met my hub and our 10 year wedding anniversary is in October!

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  24. oh no...I can't believe this is real. That guy is really psycho and have a serious problem with his ego. She made the right decision to stopped seeing him, God knows what he is capable of doing!

    mongs
    mythriftycloset.blogspot.com

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  25. Oh wow!I'm laughing and concerned for your friend at the same time! I always tell my fried to go on the first date too!

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  26. That is funny, creepy, yet funny!!!

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  27. LOL...!!! seems like the man was so upset that he was turned down by a woman, he can't accept the fact that he was not liked by his date.... your friend did a good job on not letting that man explore her life, he is so self-centered and he really needs a medical help for being so creepy...

    great post!!! kisses!!!

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  28. HA! That's hilarious!
    I have a funny online dating story to share. I had one date with a guy, but on the second date the guy stood me up! Well, I gave him the guilt trip about having to get a babysitter for the night (even though my girl friend babysat for free!), and the guy felt so guilty he sent me $100 through PayPal! Yep, dating in the 21st century! :)

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  29. That was terrifying! I'm so thankful no one is sending me hateful texts! Good luck to your friend! She sounds kind and sensible!
    --TS
    http://thriftedshift.blogspot.com/

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  30. So lucky she didn't go out with him anymore!

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  31. "you are a LIAR!!!!"

    LOL what a psycho, thank god your friend didn't get mixed up with that freakshow.

    followed :) x

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  32. OH.MY.GOODNESS - that is SO creepy! And also pretty hilarious. Your friend should definitely trust her instincts :)

    Annie
    The Other Side of Gray

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  33. I once went on an an internet-guy date, except unlike in his photos, he had a new tattoo on his face! Which he then told me he had tattooed himself, when drunk a few weeks ago. And then informed me he hadn't been dating in a few years because he'd just gotten out of jail two months ago after serving time for battery and assault with a deadly weapon. THAT WAS FUN.

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  34. well, a friend of mine dated a guy, he was impolite on msn, and her feeling was "give it a try". The first date seemed to be ok, and the second too, but she meant "no, I just want friendship". I don't know why there was a spark after all, but the guy was a psycho - didn't talk to her for days, invited her to stay at his house (they lived in different cities) to enjoy kicking her out of the flat, and two years later ended up taking from her around $30 thousand.
    Your friend shouldn't even send him messages after the first "liar" message came. She was so lucky to get rid of him!

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  35. Wow that's creepy. She should really ignore all future contact attempts from him, may there be any. Even negative attention is attention, and that is what he's looking for. It can be like fuel to his fire, so it's best to ignore him completely. Like he's thin air.

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  36. Holy creepy batman! Seriously there are some crazy people out there! I'm so thankful to not have to be in the dating scene! Best of luck to your friend and thank her for being willing to share the story - what a doozy!

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  37. he used your when he should have used you're. Clearly he has issues.

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  38. I too internet dated for awhile. And it is sad, but there are a lot of these guys out there. I had to report a guy to the site for sending me harassing messages. He messaged me a few times and then went into a rant about how he only uses internet dating for booty calls. I replied that we were obviously there for different reasons and I did not think we were compatible. And that's when the crazy came out, along with a series of harassing messages. Luckily, he only had my online dating screen name and not my phone number Rejection really brings out the crazy in some people.

    Tara
    Penniless Socialite

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  39. Wow, that is crazy. Thanks (and thanks to your friend) for sharing that story--it definitely made me laugh!

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  40. Oh dear. I think I went on a date with this dude once too. We met up for our first date & I was wearing a cute little dress & sweater and he was wearing a baggy tshirt & wrinkled cargo pants. He had long-ish hair that didn't look like he'd combed it since he crawled out of bed that morning (if he'd even combed it at all). We spent the entire dinner making awkward small talk as he didn't seem to have any interests or hobbies and no ambition to leave his job in the stockroom of a Best Buy. He would also make weird backhanded compliments like, "You probably don't go out with guys like me much, because you're so pretty." At the end of the night when he asked me out again, I told him I hadn't really felt a spark. He then accused me of not even giving him a chance, got really worked up and STARTED CRYING and informed that "just because you're pretty doesn't mean you can treat people like this!"

    For the next two or three years, he would randomly text me to call me a bitch. He hasn't tried in a long time, but he is still in my phone as DO NOT FUCKING ANSWER.

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