megan is dressed like a gangsta mosquito. nora is dressed like a hoochie ladybug. megan is acting cool as a cucumber and nora is droppin' in like it's hott.
bass line kicks in.
sexy fireflies, butterflies and spiders are dancing like crazy.
bass gets louder.
suddenly sir bites a lot (megan) jumps out into the middle of the dancing buglets singing, "i bite big butts and i cannot lie..."
ok, still not funny. i am well aware. try not sleeping for 24 straight hours and read this again. i can almost guarantee you that it will be funny then!
speaking of big butts (ya see how i did that?? clever!)...i have a curious birds question for you all that is a little more personal than other questions we have asked. it's all about the undergarments...
you see, i'm all about comfort. sure, i want my undies to be sexy, but given the choice between sexy and comfy, i choose comfy. sorry chris...but you think i'm sexy no matter what, right? (right?) my issue is that i have a big round booty. i love it, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to dress. either i get grammies that make me look like a sumo wrestler, or i get a thong. cause no way do i want to have vpl. and to be honest, i hate thongs. hate.them. for some reason (sorry for the tmi), once when i was training for a marathon, i ran 17 miles in a thong. never.do.that. i gave up on them after that day. i just couldn't bare to look them in the eye after what they did to me.
i did find some undies at kohls once that i wear every day that i have tight pants on. i like to think they show no panty line. maybe someone behind me would tell me differently. the thing about them, though, is that they are not cute, and if i don't wear them with tight pants, then they turn into snuggie gremlins, just wanting to crawl higher and higher (i told you it would get personal).
so what i'm looking for, in my eyes, is the impossible. i want a pair of undies (does anyone else think the word panties sounds pervy?) that have the following criteria:
~shows no visible pantyline
~isn't a thong
~doesn't get all snuggie on you
~is somewhat sexy
~doesn't cost an arm and a leg
i'm on the hunt...and here's why (stop reading now if you don't want to hear a hilarious, but somewhat personal story)...i have my nighttime undies...you know the ones. they feel like a big chenille bathrobe wrapped around you, mixed with a tall glass of red wine and maybe a little, cuddly teddy bear, all in one. they are plain comfortable...but u.g.l.y. (you ain't got no alibi). i realized one morning the reason why they are so comfortable. you see, i woke up and they were around my ankles. apparently i wear loose undies to bed, and apparently that night, i was moving around a lot in a deep sleep...and apparently, unlike most of my "daytime" underwear, these ones wanted to have nothing to do with my butt. so they slid down...all the way down to my ankles. and that is how i woke up.
so i need your recommendations, what is a decent pair of underwear? don't be shy!!